You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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