sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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