I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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