idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
