Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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