We won't sleep together?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
