you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
