I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My life is pants optional.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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