I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
