is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
