every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
