Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Boobs are out for the taking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
