He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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