Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't turn off my feet"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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