I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize