So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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