420 ftw
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
