just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
