i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
