Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

  (650): View more from California

  I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

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  (650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u
  Replies (28) Good night (1656) Bad night (757)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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  (347): Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service. http://tfl.nu/eqpl
  Replies (117) Good night (4333) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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  (206): sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before http://tfl.nu/9maa
  Replies (84) Good night (973) Bad night (3669) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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  (802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj
  Replies (13) Good night (3764) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

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  (480): you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open http://tfl.nu/9jy5
  Replies (18) Good night (4661) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

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  (318): I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line. http://tfl.nu/xyp6
  Replies (9) Good night (4181) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day

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  (913): I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day http://tfl.nu/fmap
  Replies (35) Good night (4870) Bad night (1557) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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  (908): just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/nghc
  Replies (20) Good night (5024) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom

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  (630): She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/xz6e
  Replies (22) Good night (4544) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.

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  (206): I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes. http://tfl.nu/wcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (928) Bad night (2602) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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  (925): I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands http://tfl.nu/dboa
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (2186) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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  (248): My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work. http://tfl.nu/6xpg
  Replies (8) Good night (458) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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  (817): And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword http://tfl.nu/z2rx
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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  (605): he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful... http://tfl.nu/18jg
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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  (603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7
  Replies (1) Good night (236) Bad night (115) Order T-Shirt

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