Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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