I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
