Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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