Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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