Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I hate all girls vehemently.

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  (516): I hate all girls vehemently. http://tfl.nu/rhf8
  Replies (2) Good night (996) Bad night (1160)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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  (403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d
  Replies (12) Good night (2469) Bad night (737)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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  (860): i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards. http://tfl.nu/0s8j
  Replies (24) Good night (920) Bad night (6850)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.

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  (850): He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight. http://tfl.nu/5341
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (3193)
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  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (31016) Bad night (1515)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Happy St. Patrick's Day.

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  (502): I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen.... (508): Happy St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/t6ex
  Replies (2) Good night (3304) Bad night (794)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.

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  (850): I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over. http://tfl.nu/m507
  Replies (118) Good night (5918) Bad night (6199)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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  (816): Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you" http://tfl.nu/hln2
  Replies (19) Good night (7176) Bad night (2214)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.

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  (480): Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night. http://tfl.nu/uc8g
  Replies (6) Good night (4266) Bad night (1104)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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  (330): I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face. http://tfl.nu/5edg
  Replies (7) Good night (3826) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.

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  (647): I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/pqu7
  Replies (4) Good night (1597) Bad night (563)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2383) Bad night (949)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.

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  (308): I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll. http://tfl.nu/yzo7
  Replies (0) Good night (969) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy

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  (775): Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy http://tfl.nu/2l3y
  Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (460)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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  (541): well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick http://tfl.nu/a9oc
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (367)

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