your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.