Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize