Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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