I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
