i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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