i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize