you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
