Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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