either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
