I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
