Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
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