If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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