Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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