i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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