I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
