apparently the secret to your success is patron
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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