Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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