this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
