i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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