Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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