I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am one with the molecules
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
