Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
