Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He? As in you personified your dick?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
