we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
