found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
