Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
