Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
