dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize