respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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