Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
