Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.

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  (918): It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/5huo
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (758)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  so today I found out that she used to be a he....

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  are you gonna get a divorce?

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  (931): so today I found out that she used to be a he.... (1-931): are you gonna get a divorce? http://tfl.nu/5e03
  Replies (86) Good night (1165) Bad night (17290)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one

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  (908): considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one http://tfl.nu/66eb
  Replies (29) Good night (1136) Bad night (6665)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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  (704): He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/j8z9
  Replies (32) Good night (6010) Bad night (3755)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.

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  (404): We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning. http://tfl.nu/65kx
  Replies (4) Good night (3333) Bad night (942)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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  (603): Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rqjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2379) Bad night (1379)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1778) Bad night (585)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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  (847): I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor. http://tfl.nu/d172
  Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (605)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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  (512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (514)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them

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  (603): I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them http://tfl.nu/lutq
  Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (455)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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  (260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe
  Replies (0) Good night (846) Bad night (459)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.

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  (720): I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys. http://tfl.nu/mqj0
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (363)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (578)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter

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  (774): who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly (413): seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter http://tfl.nu/tftx
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (350)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos

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  (334): alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos http://tfl.nu/jlgd
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (221)

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