Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  meet me or not, i'm out of control

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  (303): meet me or not, i'm out of control http://tfl.nu/t1zj
  Replies (29) Good night (3484) Bad night (725)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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  (410): Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together http://tfl.nu/isyr
  Replies (12) Good night (5414) Bad night (1248)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2415) Bad night (15522)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3053) Bad night (1130)
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  (725): View more from

  well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet

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  (725): well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet http://tfl.nu/w2wz
  Replies (6) Good night (826) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.

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  (715): I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone. http://tfl.nu/jgmj
  Replies (21) Good night (2648) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco

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  (920): I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco http://tfl.nu/0jwt
  Replies (5) Good night (816) Bad night (701)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

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  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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  (773): He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex. http://tfl.nu/oxcx
  Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.

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  (306): This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks. http://tfl.nu/6laj
  Replies (4) Good night (1782) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??

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  (817): Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do?? http://tfl.nu/z8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

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  (330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it

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  (519): but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it http://tfl.nu/i5c8
  Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...

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  (925): Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat... http://tfl.nu/8lha
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old

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  (330): He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old http://tfl.nu/t4e5
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (456)

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