He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend