u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS