just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.