Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
