Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
