You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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