I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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