I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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