I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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