hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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