i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
