Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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