Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
