you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
