Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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