did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He did a backflip because drugs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
