Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize