hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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