You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
