We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
