some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My vagina just clenched in fear
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
