hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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