I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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